I Hate You, Pigeon

pigeon
I’m walking down the street during my lunch break, minding my own business, when CRUNCH! I get shit on the head by you, you little fucking pigeon (or as I like to call you, the homeless people of the bird world). You picked the wrong day, my friend. Now don’t get me wrong, if I was a fat pigeon that hated God for making me a pigeon, I’d probably await the perfect moment to shit yesterday’s french fries and cigarette butts on unsuspecting passersby too, and I would hoot and laugh with my unemployed pigeon friends… but here’s where I get the last laugh. I’m going into a Korean restaurant tomorrow and hmmm, wonder what I will order for lunch?

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