Archive for the ‘Internet’ Category

Hentai? Seriously?

August 9, 2009

There are lots of effed up things in this world (Transformers 2, camels, Neverland, etc), and in my opinion, hentai is right up there on the list. If you don’t know what hentai is, you’re better off. But if your curiosity is getting the best of you, here goes, it’s none other than cartoon porn. Yes, cartoon characters (typically anime) having sex. With all the options the internet offers to get you off, you have issues if your first of a possible 173 choices is hentai. Seriously. The only excuse you have for watching this shit is if you’re Roger fucking Rabbit. OR Japanese.


Jill and Kevin’s Wedding

July 25, 2009

Once in a while, I too will post something I like. I know… crazy. And it so happens to be, of all things, a wedding video. It came across my inbox and it kicks ass. It’s not a fake. It doesn’t have a commercial tie-in or any bullshit like that. It’s 100% awesome. I’m sure the Pope took a shit when he saw this but hey, that’s why he wears diapers. Enjoy.

Dear Deane Rimerman,

September 15, 2008

I don’t generally respond to comments, but I’ve made an exception. Thank you for writing the following comment in my earlier ‘Hippies Mourn the Death of Trees’ article…

Deane Wrote:
“Thanks for posting this… According to google you’re the only one who has posted this and you help those you oppose by doing so….

Obviously on an unconscious level you really do care…

Deep down inside you really are an Earth First!er. I appreciated that truth!

Long live the Trees!

Be well, Deane.”

First I’d like to say, you are very welcome, Deane.

I am so proud to help the people I oppose by ridiculing them for the stupid things they do. And it’s nice to know that someone sees the good I do for this world. Thank you for noticing, Deane.

But you must know that I don’t do this on an unconscious level. Quite the contrary, I am very conscious of my good deeds. I think it’s wonderful that the Earth First!ers take a pro-active approach of saving our trees by shedding tears to the Magical Forest Gods of Earthland. I wouldn’t have posted it otherwise.

I guess simply writing about Earth First! makes me an Earth First!er, just like writing on the Smack of the Day makes you Ronald Smackdonald’s biggest fan in the world that you love and worship and wish you could birth his babies. I can appreciate that truth!

Take care my #1 fan.


p.s. Raul, the Forest God of Oak, says hello.

Hippies Mourn the Death of Trees

September 13, 2008

The headline pretty much explains the full story. An extreme eco-conservation group named Earth First mourns trees somewhere in North Carolina. I believe what they’re doing is noble and courageous and it is a shame we mock these people who truly care about our planet and its longevity. It is why I sacrificed a pack of 11 x 17 printing paper through the shredder in their honour.

The Winning Facebook Status of Thursday!!

August 29, 2008

Jason is… doing something.”
Wow. Thanks Jason for the wonderful glimpse into your ridiculously happening social life. Seriously. I’m glad you felt the need to share this. But I’m curious… were you sitting in front of your computer thinking, ‘fuck, I need to tell people that I’m doing something before they think I’m doing nothing!’ If you’re downloading unicorn wallpapers, Jason, just say you’re downloading fucking unicorn wallpapers. Or say nothing at all, because nobody gives a thick shit that you’re just ‘doing something.’ Unless you’re drowning, then I would enjoy reading that.
RECOMMENDED STATUS CHANGE: “Jason is… death by boredom.”