I Understand You, Tony Romo

You may have heard that Tony Romo, the Dallas Cowboys quarterback, broke up with popstar girlfriend Jessica Simpson a few days ago. You may have also heard that he did so on the night before her birthday. Jerk? Asshole? No no no. Just a guy who came to his wit’s end. Good on him, even if the timing wasn’t perfcet. It’s exactly the same situation I was in a few years back so I can relate. I was dating this blonde inflatable doll (Lydia) and life was perfect. She was everything I ever wanted. Slutty, ragdoll, full of plastic, you name it. But after the honeymoon stage, I needed something more. I needed someone to stimulate my mind. Someone who can answer 2+2 or a doorbell without confused silence, someone who can get her ass off the couch from time to time without looking like a deflated gangbang leftover. But unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be and I too dumped Lydia on the night before her birthday. So don’t feel bad about poor timing, Tony Romo. Jessica will probably end up dating another athlete to get back at you, just like Lydia dated Roberto Alomar. And boy did that ever backfire.